Dark thoughts of the challenge presented as one who finds herself unable to do much to “bring home the bacon” anymore. For any who read and get concerned, know that I just had to get this out of me and that I will be okay.

What cost is liberty?

Family?

Friendship?

Financial peace?

None seemed too expensive at the time,

Not if it meant I could finally be me.

Yet, here I sit now,

Post rebellious act,

Alone in a crowd

And merely scraping by,

Mouths still to be fed,

Demands still to be met,

Without an ace in the pocket, 

A skill to bargain with, 

And none but a slim bank account at best.

Feeling nearly loveless,

Nearing more than hapless,

Frustrated by this lingering depression,

And almost never truly free…

For, the chains yet exist-

The chains I deplored and despised-

The chains I blamed the world on

I am ashamed to find were actually 

Mine !

Would that this meant I could just burst out…

Like a musclebound hero from the 

Villainous binds,

But, honestly, right now, 

I find my reserves all but gone,

Anything I think to do more than wrong,

And none but useless, howling worry

To fill my mind…

Advertisements