Sorting varied thoughts as a volunteer situation I thought I could do went awry as only it can with me. I am going to be fine, but depressed feelings must find their place…

Ambivalence.

A toss and turn sensation,

Scratching and flailing within.

Both a longing to be a part

And a shrinking from such,

Each jockeying for position in

My troubled heart.

There is a knowing what is best

And yet a wondering if

I could ever tap into the unknown rest…

What would it be like to

Be able to contribute in the

Capacities others can?

How it would be if things would

Align with the desires in my hand?

For, despite it all, yes, I do dream,

Though I wrestle long and hard

Against the relentless stream.

But, who I am and what I can bring

Always seems to find itself unraveling,

Slipping away unnoticed

Like a useless string…

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