Some things going on in my life right now that I have very little power over. Some are events which will not come to an absolution for days. I am so not good with the pins and needles of waiting. 😓 A couple are somethings that have the potential to turn out either great or total disappointment. Trying to stay calm. Thought I was, actually. And, suddenly, this morning, I find myself in the midst of a panic attack over it all….
My heart is tearing right out of
A crash of tears I didn’t even know
Come flooding down
My startled face.
Is it depressed mood that has
Caught me by surprise
I don’t know.
Don’t think so.
Not sad so much as scared.
All this unknowing has me undone, after all.
I know how I am; how is it I was so…
Is this panic, perhaps?
Yes, yes, that is in there;
I begin to recognize its
Tightening hold on me.
Today inexplicably feels like
A day of
No rhyme or reason but the squeeze
In my gut.
And the utterance of
This foolishness I feel
Makes it seem
That much more inevitable…
Already, I am prepping for
Good could also be on the brink, you know.
But, to believe for that
And have it snatched?
Far worse than gearing up for worst.
Either way, the weaving of events
Is spinning right out of my hands
As only these things can…
Oh, all right now is naught but
Imaginings, only imaginings,
Unfounded when you get down to it!
But oh-so-powerful in their grip